


Tenderness

by I_want_to_hunt_the_Moon



Series: Ahava [3]
Category: Feverwake - Victoria Lee
Genre: (i'm sorry), Canon Compliant, Domestic Bliss, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Lehrer, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Trauma, it was angst then it turned into fluff an then it was more angst, set after the end of teh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24058738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_want_to_hunt_the_Moon/pseuds/I_want_to_hunt_the_Moon
Summary: Noam couldn't help himself, "You gonna welcome me home with dinner and a drink? Like a proper housewife?"Dara pushed his face away with a snort. "Correction: pancakes for me and Ahava. You are getting nothing.""Aw, baby. Don't be like that. You look cute in an apron.""I look amazing in an apron, but you are not helping your case.""You look amazing in everything."Dara smiled at him. Not protesting when Noam pulled him closer by the hips. "Keep talking."or Angst, Fluff and then more Angst.
Relationships: Noam Álvaro/Dara Shirazi
Series: Ahava [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1734058
Comments: 13
Kudos: 34





	Tenderness

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I'm now officially the writer of 1/8 of the feverwake fics on ao3. Turns out I really like Nora being domestic. I had to write good parents after the creepy Lehrer story I wrote. 
> 
> The plan was to make a cute nightmare/comfort story but it became five times as long.
> 
> I'm trying to make the story a little less dialogue heavy and also to write a little more in the fever wake style. That didn't entirely work because I'm shit at metaphors in my native language so english is hell. I hope you enjoy it anyway!
> 
> Once again English is not my first language. Sorry for any mistakes. I will probably come back later to fix them.

Noam was woken by Dara scrambling madly out of bed.

"Huh? Wha?" he asked, barely awake but alarmed all the same. He quickly sat up. Turning to see Dara already throwing the door open to dash down the hall.

"Shit." He quickly got up to follow after his husband. When he got to the hall he saw that Ahava's bedroom door was open. "Dara, wait, you're gonna wake her," he whispered hastily, but it was already too late. Ahava was blinking up at Dara with a confused look on her face.

"What's goin' on?"

Dara stared at her with wide eyes. "I just- I thought- there was-" he was silent for a moment. He gently stroked a hand over her head. It was shaking. He suddenly turned around to look at Noam, there was panic in his eyes.

"He was here, Noam. He was here, he had her." Noam's blood froze. That was impossible. He _knew_ that. Lehrer was still in prison. He was never getting out. And even if he did somehow escape Noam doubted he would go to their house. He didn't even know where they lived. Right? _But he still has supporters,_ a voice in the back of his head reminded him helpfully. _Both inside the government and outside of it. They could have told him. They might still want revenge._ Paranoia was suddenly buzzing under his skin.

"He's not here." He tried to keep his voice gentle. "Alright, baby? No one is in the house. Want me to check?"

Dara hesitated, he gathered Ahava in his arms. Gently squeezing her to his chest. The panic had died down a little. "I..." he trailed off.

"I'm already out of bed anyway." That made guilt flash through Dara's eyes. ''Hey, it's okay. I don't mind. You know I don't. I'll be back in a minute."

He gave Dara a quick smile as he backed out of the room. Methodically checking every window and door in the house. He even got a flashlight to search the basement. Better to be safe than sorry. 

Nothing. 

He felt like he could breath again. Of course there was nothing. He had expected there to be nothing. So why was he relieved? Why was he still scared? He shook his head. He knew why, knew that trauma wasn't rational. But, still. It had been over ten years. He quickly cut of that train of thought. Could hear his therapist screeching at him to be kind to himself. It was fine if Dara was scared, so it was fine if he was scared.

He took a deep breath and quickly walked up the stairs. Dara was standing now, Ahava still in his arms. Whispering to her that everything was fine. Gently swaying back and forth to try and coax her back to sleep. Like when she was still a baby and they had to walk around with her for hours. Months later Noam had figured out driving made her fall asleep in minutes. 

"Everything's safe."

He hesitantly raised his hand. Not sure if Dara wanted to touch him right now. Dara took the invitation for what it was. Walking up to Noam, letting him wrap his arms around both of them. Ahava pressed between them. Dara buried his face in Noam's neck. Noam held him a little tighter, like that would prevent him from shattering all over the floor.

Dara let out a shuddering breath. "I know. I know that he's not here. I know that in my head but-"

"It's fine."

"It's not. I woke you up. Both of you, for nothing."

"It's okay, daddy. I have bad dreams too sometimes," Ahava piped up suddenly. "Do you want to sleep in my bed?"

That made Dara smile and Noam laugh. "I think your bed is too small, mi cielito. How about we sleep in papa's bed, hmm?"

Ahava thought about it for a moment before deeming it acceptable. She nodded, her braids following the movement. He kissed both their foreheads before letting them go. When they got into bed Ahava insisted on sleeping on top of Dara's chest. To protect him from all the nightmares, she said. Noam just smiled an pulled the blanket over both of them, as Dara thanked her softly. He got in besides his husband. Watching as he gently stroked Ahava's back.

She yawned, not putting her hand in front of her mouth but Dara didn't scold her for it this time. "Night."

"Goodnight, little star," Dara murmured gently into her hair.

"Goodnight, Ava."

She was out like a light.

Noam turned his gaze to Dara. "You sure you're alright?" he whispered.

"I am. Don't worry about me."

Noam searched his face, looking for a lie. "Can't really help it." 

"I know you can't, darling." Dara smiled at him. Reaching for his hand. "I'll be fine. Try to sleep."

"If you're sure."

"I am."

"But are you?"

"Noam."

"Alright, alright," he whispered, closing his eyes.

* * *

Ahava stayed home the next day. Saying she was tired and didn't feel good. Noam didn't know how much of that was true and how much of it was her wanting to keep an eye on Dara, but they let her sleep in. Dara didn't have work that day and he was fine with watching her. Giving Noam a kiss goodbye. Promising pancakes for dinner.

Noam couldn't help himself, "You gonna welcome me home with dinner and a drink? Like a proper housewife?"

Dara pushed his face away with a snort. "Correction: pancakes for me and Ahava. You are getting nothing."

"Aw, baby. Don't be like that. You look cute in an apron."

"I look amazing in an apron but you are not helping your case."

"You look amazing in everything."

Dara smiled at him. Not protesting when Noam pulled him closer by the hips. "Keep talking."

Noam did, pressing a kiss to Dara's mouth with each word, "Amazing. Lovely. Brilliant. Incredible. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Perfect."

Dara grabbed the back of his neck. Keeping him close, smiling almost shyly as he said, "Yours."

"Mine," Noam agreed, bringing Dara's left hand to his mouth to press a kiss to his knuckles. Gently rubbing his thumb over them. "As much as I am yours."

Dara's smile turned smug. "Admit it. The wedding was a good idea."

"I never said it wasn't."

"You tried to get me to elope with you on fourteen separate occasions."

"I just think it's charming. Has a simple, romantic, old fashioned kinda feel to it."

"One of those times was the evening before the wedding."

"And I was maybe a bit nervous," Noam admitted.

Dara raised an eyebrow. "There was barely anyone."

"Seventy people is not barely anyone!" Noam cried out, getting more indignant by the minute.

"You're running late, darling."

"They're not going to fire me. I'm the best they have," Noam said snootily, turning his nose up in a poor imitation of the haughty look Dara always gave the mothers he hated at the schoolyard.

"Such arrogance." Dara's expression had turned playful. "You should get going all the same."

"I love you."

"I love you, too." 

* * *

Fucking assholes. Dave from counterintelligence had managed to drag the meeting out for hours. Refusing to process a fucking word that was said and trying to force things his way. Motherfucker was lucky Noam hadn't forced his foot up his-

The front door flew open, "Papa!" Ahava ran up to him, clutching his leg.

His bad mood was suddenly gone. "Mija!"

He lifted her up, pretending to groan under her weight. "Did you grow when I was gone?"

She laughed, delighted at his antics. "NO!"

"Yes you did. I know you did." He grinned in her hair. He leaned her back to look at her face and paused. "What do you have on your face, princess?"

Ahava gave him a wide grin, making the lines drawn between her freckles move. "Daddy and I drew stars!"

"Oh, I see." He could make them out now, familiar after so many nights spend looking up at them with Dara's head a warm weight on his shoulder. He pointed to the one drawn on her forehead. "That's me."

She nodded excitedly, "Leo!"

He pointed to the curled line that ended in three points drawn on her right cheekbone. "That's daddy."

"Yes!"

He moved on to the one that took over most of her left cheek. "Andromeda," he murmured softly.

"Uhuh!"

"But where are you?"

"Over here," Dara said from the doorway, where he had been watching them with a smile on his face. A face which was covered in ink. A lot messier than the lines drawn on their daughter's face. What seemed to be a shaky taurus curving over the bridge of his nose. 

"Pretty right?"

"Very pretty," Noam agreed with the girl, still looking at Dara.

"Stop it," his husband warned.

"I can't help it," he said. "You look adorable."

Dara scoffed (pouted). "Come inside. Before either of you catch a cold."

Ahava wiggled her legs. Wanting to be put down. He did so and watched her run inside. Following after her, pausing to give Dara a kiss. He put down his briefcase and, after Dara closed the door, gently pressed him against it. "Hey."

"Hey, yourself." Dara leaned back against the door. Craning his neck to look up at Noam.

"You two have fun?" 

"Can't you see my face, we had loads of it." Noam grinned at him, feeling giddy. Bringing his hands up to frame Dara's face as he kissed him, but Dara swatted them away. "You're going to ruin this masterpiece. Keep your hands to yourself."

"Normally we play that game in bed."

Dara softly kicked his shin. "Come along, darling. I will make some more pancakes."

Dara grabbed his hand and Noam lets him lead him to the kitchen.

"I'm still disappointed you were not waiting for me with a drink like a proper housewife"

Dara snorted, "We don't keep alcohol in the house and I've never been a proper anything."

"You got me there," he said as he bend down to greet Wolf.

"Be a dear and take Ahava with you when you walk the dog. She has too much energy."

"Will do."

His daughter looked up from where she was sketching more constellations at the mention of her name. "Are we going outside?"

"In a moment, princess. Papa's gotta eat first." He took of his tie as sat down at the table. Dara quickly putting a plate of pancakes he kept warm in front of him before going back to make some more. Because, apparently, Noam ate 'an ungodly amount of food'. When he was done he started clearing the table. Shooing Dara away when he tried to help. "You already cooked, baby. It's only fair if I clean."

"Fine," Dara huffed, putting down the plates he was holding. "I'll go help Ahava get ready."

When Noam finished putting everything in the dishwasher. He walked over to the hall where Ahava was already standing, Dara kneeling beside her and fussing with her coat. Wolf patiently waiting next to them with his leash clipped on. "Let's go."

Noam walked them to a small park where Wolf and Ahava could tire each other out. By the end she was so exhausted he had to carry her home on his shoulders.

"You had fun, mija?"

"Yeah."

"You wanna go to bed?"

"M not tired," she mumbled against his hair.

"Not even a little bit?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"...Yes."

She was asleep before they reached the door. He opened it carefully. Trying not to make noise. Dara must have heard it anyway as he came down the stairs immediately.

"How was it- oh." He smiled. "You had fun then."

"Yes." Noam ducked down a little so Dara could move Ahava off his shoulders. She made a dissatisfied sound but did not wake. "How are we gonna get the ink of her face?"

"I was gonna put her in bath. We can do it with a washcloth, we have to wake her anyway if we don't want to put her to sleep in dirty clothes."

"Good thinking. You know, if she goes back to sleep fast we can take that bath."

"We? How very forward of you Mr. Álvaro." Dara started to move up the stairs, Noam following close behind.

"I know. How scandalous we've only been married for 8 years."

"Next you're going to ask to see my ankle."

"I just might."

"Scoundrel."

"No, but seriously," Noam said. "Do you want a bath. Because I know I'm tense as hell. And you look kinda tired."

Dara's face darkened at the reminder of last night. "It took a while before I fell back asleep."

"So?"

"A bath might be nice," Dara admitted, he gave Noam a quick smile over his shoulder. "I'll take care of Ava, go start the water."

Noam smiled back at him. Turning to their bathroom to start the bath. Putting in the oils that Dara liked. Grinning to himself when he heard Ahava whine that she didn't want to get up, and Dara explain that, "No, you can't sleep with ink on your face, love."

Once the bath was half full he slowed the water to a trickle and turned back to the bedroom. Softly padding over the carpet to the hall. He saw that the light was on in Ahava's bedroom and went inside. Dara was sitting up against the headboard, their daughter in his lap. She seemed to be in the middle of telling him she wanted to paint her room another colour again. They had chosen green for her nursery, because green was a nice colour and both Noam and Dara were a bit confused by the colours belonging to certain genders thing every PTA mom seemed so fond of. (Dara had been deeply insulted when everyone had assumed she was a boy as a baby just because she had worn blue clothes.) When she got older she seemed as taken with the night sky as Dara was. So they had painted her ceiling blue, drawing stars with gold and glow in the dark paint. 

He was shaken out of his musings by a little voice calling him, "Papa, you have to read to me."

He walked over to the bed, sitting down next to Dara and putting an arm around him. "You look a little tired, honey. How about a song instead."

She gave him a cold look for daring to suggest that she was anything short of wide awake, but seemed to mull over his offer. "Alright, but you can't stop until I say so."

"You're getting more and more like your father every day." Dara shot him a glare, it softened a little when Noam just grinned back at him.

"I wanna hear you are my sunshine."

"Whatever you want, princess." He started to sing. Dara resting his head on his shoulder. Noam gently stroked Ahava's hair. Her eyes were slowly drooping before shooting open. Dead set on staying awake. After ten minutes she was finally asleep. Dara slid her gently of his lap, moving the sheet over her unmoving form. He kissed her forehead softly,."Goodnight, little star." 

They walked out of the room, Noam turning of the lights and closing the door. As soon as it was shut Dara let out a sigh. 

"Are you alright?"

"I love her. I do. More than anything in the world, but she is your daughter through and through," he sounded tired as he said it. A good tired, but still.

"Sorry," Noam grinned, not sounding very sorry at all.

"It's a good thing," Dara murmured. "You promised me a bath."

"Right this way, babe."

Dara undressed slowly, smirking at Noam when he noticed he was staring. "Are you planning on taking a bath fully dressed?"

"Oh, right." He quickly unbuttoned his shirt and kicked of his pants.

"I'm not going to iron that for you," Dara reminded him primly as he walked to the shower, Noam right behind him. After quickly rinsing off, and Dara washing the ink of his face, they both sank down into the bath. Dara letting out a low groan as he relaxed against Noam's chest.

"Even you have to admit I occasionally have a good idea," he murmured in Dara's hair. Pressing a kiss to his temple as he reached over to turn of the water. Thankfully the bath hadn't overflown.

"Once in a blue moon, so don't get smug you himbo," Dara warned, he sniffed the air, "Did you put in the bath things we got from Taye?"

"Yeah, you liked those right?"

"They're nice," Dara admitted, moving a little so he could press a kiss to Noam's jaw. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me. Making sure you relax once in a while was kinda implied in the wedding vows, I think."

"Mmh, I would ask you to fulfil the rest of your marital duties but I'm half asleep as it is."

Noam chuckled against Dara's hair, inhaling his scent. His arms wrapped around Dara's middle. Slowly stroking up and down. Enjoying the fact that his ribs didn't stick out anymore. They hadn't in a long time but he still appreciated it. "You weren't planning on washing your hair, right? I don't wanna wait four hours until you are done with it."

Dara elbowed him. "It's not that long."

"You can't lie to me, I've seen it. It's unnecessary anyway. Handsome as you are."

"I'm handsome because I spent four hours on myself, Noam. And you don't get to talk. You don't even use conditioner."

"I use shampoo. Or soap."

Dara made a horrified noise that made Noam grin against the top of his head. "You disgusting man."

"Good to hear I've upgraded from boy." Noam gently moved his hands up to Dara's shoulder to coax him into sitting up. Dara made an inquisitive noise that turned into a low moan once Noam started kneading the back of his neck. Head falling forward pliantly. He was sweet in moments like this.

"Is it good?" Noam murmured into the silence.

"Yes," Dara sighed. Noam silently worked on Dara's neck, moved down to his shoulders. When those where loose and warm too he pressed his lips to the back of Dara's neck.

"We should get out. The waters getting cold, baby."

Dara hummed back at him half asleep already, "S probably for the best."

They towelled of quickly. Noam putting on flannels and Dara deciding on one of Noam's old t-shirts he was so fond of. They had learned very quickly that falling asleep naked was not practical when having children. When they were done brushing their teeth they climbed into bed.

"We have to talk to her about it."

Noam already half unconscious startled back awake. "Bout what, baby?"

"Him."

Noam suddenly felt cold and very, very awake. "No."

He felt Dara's eyes on him, impossibly dark. "It's not something we can just ignore, Noam. She's going to hear it from someone. I would rather have it be us."

Noam ground his teeth together. "And tell her what exactly? Oh by the way your grandpa who's also papa's ex is in prison for life because he committed crimes against the entirety of humanity. Sometimes your daddy's get upset because he raped both of us. Did I tell you about the several governments we've overthrown? Daddy even assassinated a head of state once."

Dara shot upright, furious. "You know that's not what I mean." His voice cracked. All Noam's anger was suddenly gone replaced with regret.

"I know. I'm sorry." He sat up too. Gently touching a hand to Dara's shoulder. Pulling him to his chest when it wasn't shrugged off. "I'm sorry, baby."

Dara pulled back, not enough to leave the circle of Noam's arms, only enough so he could look him in the eyes. "She's going to learn about what happened at school soon. I don't want her to hear about it from other children, or her teacher. I'm not suggesting that we tell her everything. But I want her to understand why I get nightmares and you sometimes sleep on the couch."

Noam let out a long sigh, suddenly a lot more tired than he had been 5 minutes ago. "You're probably right." He swallowed. "Let's talk about it more tomorrow, okay?"

Dara looked at him, lips parting like he wanted to say something else before closing his mouth in a sad smile, "Okay." He pressed his mouth to Noam's gently. He laid back down, pulling Dara with him, content to keep him close, pressing soft kisses to Dara's freckles until he let out a low laugh, pushing Noam's face away. "I'm tired."

"Goodnight then."

Dara burrowed even closer to him. "Goodnight, darling."

**Author's Note:**

> (I know astrological signs and constellations are different things.)  
> Warning: Me Not Shutting Up
> 
> Hc: Ahava takes a lot after Noam in her personality. Which Dara is so happy about. But he's also super tired because now there's TWO.
> 
> It also means that they sometimes have to come to school because Ahava has defeated a bully because Justice Has To Be Served. Noam is proud of her, Dara is (again) happy she has a strong moral compass but also Tired.
> 
> Dara has a bitter rivalry with several people in the neighbourhood because his garden AND his marriage are better than theirs. Noam is only vaguely aware of this.
> 
> Ahava looks a lot like Dara. She also copies a lot of his mannerisms and interests. Which delights Noam but also scares him a little because "We didn't use your DNA how did this happen?"
> 
> Ahava wore a lot of blue as a baby bc Dara likes blue and heteronormativity is not his problem.
> 
> Once Ahava found out Taye could shrink things she begged for him to shrink the moon so she could keep it in a jar. She does not care that this would have worldwide consequences. She wants it.
> 
> Noam has stood up more than once in the middle of a serious business meeting to tell Dave from counterintelligence to fight him.
> 
> Noam and Dara probably had to deal with angry Lehrer supporters for a while because some people either didn't believe he committed any of the crimes or didn't care because they thought he did it for 'the greater good'
> 
> Ames has gotten very good at destroying the political careers of Lehrer supporters.
> 
> I feel like Noam is one of those people who is a lot harder on themselves than they are on others. So a lot of the time he has to remind himself that it's fine if he's not okay and be like "If Dara or Bethany felt or acted like this I would understand" to trick himself into being patient with himself.
> 
> Also, Noam sometimes sleeps on the couch bc another person in the bed can be very unsettling. It doesn't happen as often when he's older but he still has some nights where it's either that or taking a bunch of pills.


End file.
